When Trusting God is Hard
Any child at New Life – Bismarck will tell you that Pastor Kristen is very honest. The phrase “I’m going to be honest with you” has become a Sunday morning catch phrase of mine. So today, I’m going to be honest with you and let you into a personal struggle of mine and hopefully provide some encouragement to those who may be feeling the same way.
We’ve been in a “Trusting God” series at New Life, so naturally this would be the perfect time for that pesky enemy of ours to try to get me to doubt my Father God. My mind has been flooded with thoughts like, “God’s not going to take care of your parents,” “God isn’t going to heal your friends,” “God’s not going to provide for you financially and you aren’t even going to be able to complete your 3 for 1 challenge pledge.” Things that are just completely, totally false, but they seemed so real and true inside my mixed up mind.
There were a few times I found myself in tears, bogged down with all these negative lies. What was even worse, I started believing these lies. It was hard to even pray because I felt like I couldn’t trust my Heavenly Father. It was hard to trust God, the Almighty Creator of the universe. I wanted to, but I just couldn’t.
How in the world did I pull myself out of this hole?! Well, it wasn’t until I was preparing my lesson for Kid’s Church and came across 2 Corinthians 12:9,
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the powers of Christ may rest upon me.”
God’s power shines brightest through my weakness! Wait a second… that totally doesn’t make any sense, how can God shine through my weakness? Well, you see, when we are weak, God is strong. When we fail, God succeeds. And when we are in a rut and feel like we can’t even trust God, He remains faithful.
I came to a point, where enough was enough. I didn’t want to stay in the hole. I was encouraged by Paul’s writings, knowing that even when I’m weak, God doesn’t look at me like I’m weak and pathetic, but He sees me at His daughter, who He deeply loves. Next, I had to flood out the lies that had been filling my mind. The best way to do that is with the Bible, which in all honesty, I had neglected reading. Whenever I’m feeling down, I love reading the story of Gideon. This story reminds me that God always sees the best in me, even when I don’t see the best in myself.
Another one of my favorite scriptures is Matthew 6:25-34. These verses remind me to now be anxious about anything, if God takes care of the birds in the sky and the flowers in the field, won’t He take care of His child? God knows all my needs, and will ALWAYS be faithful to provide for them, He’s never failed or forgotten about me, so how can I not place my trust in Him?
When I place trust in anything other than God, I will always be disappointed. However, when I flood the lies of the enemy out with God’s truth I will always be encouraged. We all go through rough, rocky times but let’s always remind ourselves that feelings are fickle, so don’t place trust in them. Look to God’s Word, find encouragement and remember God is always faithful.